For the past 35 years, Clinton Beck has been tearing up the poker tables like a kid in a candy store with an unlimited allowance. His winning streak? So consistent it’s practically a part of his DNA.

They call him the luckiest man alive, his godlike powers of hitting the river make him a formidalbe opponent . His poker style? A mix between a chess grandmaster and a squirrel on espresso. Opponents fear him, loathe him, and yet can’t help but invite him to their home games.

The nightmares are real. Players wake up shouting “Beck!” in a cold sweat – it’s like he’s the boogeyman of poker. Others? Well, let’s just say they keep antacids handy.

No-limit Texas hold’em is his playground, and the river card is his swing set. If you’re playing against him and he’s got that twinkle in his eye, you’re either about to witness a grand bluff or lose your chips faster than socks in a dryer.

His secret weapon? Visions of a mechanical monkey clashing cymbals in his head.

His poker sessions are capped at 4 hours – or until his laughter scares everyone away, whichever comes first. Clinton has the charisma of a rock star, the wisdom of a genie, and glowing chakras like no other.

Bottom line: If you find yourself at a table with Clinton Beck, kiss your chips goodbye – but hey, you’ll walk away with one heck of a story and probably a new appreciation for mechanical monkeys.